Shame of Thrones: Season 5, Episode 7

Pick of the season for me. The last few episodes have set the stage. Now, finally, things are moving forward. I can’t bloody wait for the next three weeks.

Of course, there’s always some shaming to be done. And in an episode which featured most of the cast, does this come as a big surprise?

Before we get started, let’s have a round of applause for Samwell Tarly (John  Bradley), whose bravery and general ability to be the nicest guy in Westeros has earned him the girl. Shame he was laying in a pool of his own blood at the time, but hey, can’t look a gift horse in the mouth.

And you all thought Game of Thrones was about to deliver yet another rape scene. Shame on you!

Shame on you (i)

In easily the most important scene all season, Tyrion (Peter Dinklage) and Daenerys (Emilia Clarke) finally meet. And it comes not a moment too soon, because Dany seriously needs some sense knocking into her. She’s still not ready to forgive poor Jorah (Iain Glen), who’s so desperate to return to her that he got himself infected with Stone Zombie Virus. Now she’s only got Daario (Michiel Huisman) for advice, and all he wants to do is gaze at himself in the mirror, shag her, and tell her that killing everyone is the answer to all her troubles.

With Tyrion by her side, things might actually start progressing in Meereen. Or she’ll just ignore him and end up getting de-throned. When she first took Meereen, she had the wise council of Barristan (Ian McElhinney) and Jorah guiding her. It’s only gone downhill for her since.

Shame on you (ii)

Sansa (Sophie Turner) is a victim again this week. And she thought Joffrey (Jack Gleeson) was bad! He really had nothing on Ramsay (Iwan Rheon). It looked as though Sansa might gain the upper hand for a second, as she wound him up about his biggest fear of being replaced by the new baby. Then Ramsay showed her what he was up to last night, when he claimed he was out playing poker with the lads – flaying alive Sansa’s old lady friend. As you do.

This shame goes to Theon (Alfie Allen), who is still permanently in his Reek persona. Hands up who actually thought he was going to help Sansa? Yeah, didn’t think so. I’ve pretty much exhausted all the ‘grow a pair’ jokes, so I’ll just leave this here. At least they’ve stopped making Ramsay a comic figure.

Shame on you (iii)

Again Doran (Alexander Siddig) was absent when we visited Dorne. Instead, we had a scene with Bronn (Jerome Flynn), the sole purpose of which seemed to be casual nudity. It would’ve been a big shame if they’d killed him off, but thankfully it looks like Bronn has pulled a Sand Snake. If there was ever a perfect match for him, it’s a vicious bastard who likes to bury people up to the head in sand.

Meanwhile, Jaime (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) has a little chat with Myrcella (Nell Tiger Free) who, it turns out, actually quite likes Dorne and isn’t eager to return to King’s Landing. Who can really blame her? She’s got herself a handsome prince, she’s miles away from her insane mother and Dorne looks pretty nice by Westeros standards. However, Jaime’s having none of it, banging on about how she needs to be at home. Is Jaime as big an idiot as Cersei (Lena Headey)? Together, these two are undoing all the good work Tyrion and Tywin (Charles Dance) did in establishing Lannister supremacy. Which brings me to…

Shame on you (iv)

Yes! It finally happened! Cersei’s stupid plan to have Margaery (Natalie Dormer) and Loras (Finn Jones) imprisoned has blown up in her face. Turns out the High Sparrow (Jonathan Price) is just as freaked out by her bedroom antics. And not even the Queen of Thornes (Diana Rigg) can talk this guy down. Seeing Rigg and Price play off each other was absolute TV gold, and I’m thrilled they got to film a scene together.

Meanwhile, Tommen (Dean Charles-Chapman) continues to be useless. And I mean fatally useless. Does this kid think he’ll stand a chance if Stannis (Stephen Dillane) comes knocking on his door? What if Dany finally gets herself to King’s Landing with her three dragons? There’s no last-minute Tyrell alliance to save him this time. Cersei is banged up, Jaime is miles away – Tommen, you’re pretty screwed.

Three episodes to go. It’s worth tuning in just to see Tyrion and Dany interact. Join us next week to see if the White Walkers finally make an appearance.