Welcome to Britain, JJ Abrams!

[dropcap]C[/dropcap]ould it be the weather? Could it be that our portions are a little smaller than he is used to? Or maybe he just doesn’t fancy the move. Whatever it is, JJ Abrams certainly isn’t happy to be coming to our shores to film Star Wars VII. All of the previous incarnations have been filmed here and the tradition will continue, no matter how much Abrams and his family protest. Speaking about the impending move he said that it “really does make me insane”.

What exactly is causing his insanity is unclear, but a move is stressful for anyone, whether it’s just down the road or to a different country. Still, with a move from the US to the UK, there is the plus point of not having that awkward language barrier and trying to muddle by on those choice phrases that you have retained from your school days. So in order to make the transition a little easier for JJ, we have put together a few things that could help with the move.

1. We drive on the left

We’ve all seen those films where the American comes over and there is that comedic moment where cars are swerving and hub caps roll across the road, invariably into some poultry, sending feathers flying.  In the real world this will generally end with sirens.

2. The word fanny

It never fails to make an English person snigger like a school child. You’re watching a film quite happily and then someone says “fanny pack”. We call it a bum bag. Still a bit of a foolish name, we grant you. Fanny *snigger*

3. I could care less

How many of you have heard it on TV and said “could you?” Of course, it’s I couldn’t care less. Otherwise it doesn’t make any sense. So if you say that over here, be prepared for a raised eyebrow.

4. Our portions are much smaller

It’s not a bad thing. You’ll just need to buy more.

5. The weather

Yes it does rain a lot. Yes there is a grey (or gray) sky more often than not. But there are a few precious moments when the sun comes out. And so does the flesh. A ray of sun and on come the shorts, off come the shirts and it’s off to the beach. Then it rains again and we’ve all been burnt to a crisp.

Of course there are many more hints we could give Mr Abrams, but where’s the fun in that? The much anticipated Star Wars sequel is tentatively set for release in 2015…