Finally, proof that 'Selfies' are bad for you…

Last year, the English Oxford Dictionary sent shockwaves through the literary world by announcing that “Selfie” was their word-of-the year.  Almost immediately there was universal scorn aimed at the decision as journalists from every kind of publication scrambled to write a gleeful negative-opinion piece attacking young people everywhere.

Commentators and parents collectively lamented the death of the English language, whilst simultaneously stereotyping all teenagers as shallow and egomaniacal.  Everyone seemed to know that the phenomenon was symbolic of a wider problem concerning the young but no-one managed to prove that Selfies were inherently bad for you…until now.

A head lice expert in America has suggested on a San Franciscan website that teenagers huddling together to cram into the Instagram-shaped focus point of their iPhone cameras has led to a rise in head lice infestations.  “Selfies are fun, but the consequences are real,” says Marcy McQuillan of NitlessNoggins.com.  Indelible proof that the act of taking pictures on a forward-facing camera is to blame for the inevitable slide into some kind of hygiene anarchy.

Perhaps the new iPhone should come with a fish-eye lens to give the kids of today a bit more space…