4 years

David Letterman’s Ten Best Quotes

The Late Show legend bowed out this week after 30 years at the top. To pay tribute, here are some memorable one-liners...

10. “Mitt Romney and his family have a big two-day weekend plan. They’re going to hike to the top of his money.”

9. “Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you’re trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you’re one president too late.”

8. “They had a midnight raid and they cleaned out Zucotti Park where the Occupy Wall Streeters were camped out for about two months. So if you’re keeping score, here’s what the score is now: Eighty down in Zucotti Park; Wall Street executives arrested: Zero.”

7. “Who sexes the animals?”

Letterman Emma Watson Gif

6. “The White House has announced that they no longer recognise Fox as a news organisation, which puts them about eight years behind the rest of us.”

5. “Kim Jong Il made his staff call him “dear” and spent the day drinking cognac. It’s like I have a twin, ladies and gentlemen.”

4. “USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.”

3. “The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves.”

2. “They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.”

1. “I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host.”

Letterman Fist Bump

Discussion feed

  • Hey Sam! I can't attach a feature picture to this post, is it something to do with my permission access on the new system? Best, Tom
  • Hey Sam, it's the new system, I'm just trying it out for my latest podcast episode with Greg Lucey and I'm trying to attach a picture - it uploads the picture and then says I don't have permission to attach it :(
  • Hi Tom, I'll look into this today. I think I already know what the issue is. It's because the media being uploaded is not associating itself to a post ID. Thank you for being my test dummy. At least this creation dialogue is working!!!
  • Hey Sam, I've tried again just now still the same issues I'm afraid :( I'd also look at the text editor I'm not sure if the texted/front is properly formatting at the moment (there's big gapes in the spacing, front size). If you want to jump around inside my draft and see what's what please do! I think I am going to use the legacy editor to upload today, but we can work  on testing and refining the new editor together :) Best, Tom

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