wolf hall 3

1. We should all go back to eating with our fingers

Don’t you love those scenes where they all crowd around a table laden with various intriguingly undefinable dishes and just dig in with nothing but their fingers? They do have the occasional knife lying around, but they seem to go mostly unused. Makes me want to get all my friends together at Wagamama’s next week, eschew both the cutlery and chop stick options, and go a bit medieval on everyone’s ass (soup may present a problem, I guess).

2. We’re the worst dressed people in history

I’ve never felt more underdressed than when I’m watching Wolf Hall. Yeah, it’s far easier to chuck on a pair of jeggings and a hoodie to nip round the Co-op for emergency wine, but frankly we could be making a bit more of an effort the rest of the time. Skirts the size of boat sails, fur trims, veils, corsets, jewels, doublets (whatever they are), and the rest – we need to seriously up our game if we hope to make it into even the top twenty best dressed historical periods.

wolf hall 2

3. We should be burning a hell of a lot more candles

Yeah, electricity’s great and all, but everything looks so much better when it’s lit – or more accurately, shadowed – by candlelight. Certain viewers have already complained that Wolf’s Hall’s authentic lighting is pretty impenetrable, but what you can actually see makes for a pretty amazing aesthetic. The only downside is the danger of falling asleep with one still burning and setting light to the bed-hangings.

Early release

4. It’s all about archery

Forget football, forget tennis, forget jousting, forget every other sport, because archery is what all the cool kids are doing these days – but not in a We Need to Talk About Kevin kinda way; in an extremely refined, elegant, and Tudor kinda way. If you can do it with a falcon perched on your shoulder you get extra Tudor cool points.

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5. We’re so lucky we weren’t born to be Tudors

People getting beheaded, burned and maimed as a matter of course? The monarch having virtually absolute power of life and death over everyone? Women being sold into marriages and then more than likely dying in childbirth? And all the rest? No, thank you. Things may still be far from perfect, but we wouldn’t want to swap our modern age for the age of Wolf Hall – that’s a great recipe for an early grave.