Review: The Mindy Project Season 3, Episode 18 – Fertility Bites

Mindy goes to extreme lengths to encourage patients to try her new clinic, and the Shulman & Associates nurses clash with the new doctor...

Our favourite pregnant OB/GYN is now the proud owner of a fertility clinic.

It’s great to see Mindy (Mindy Kaling) strut around the new practice, where renovations are underway. I’d like to say that, even with a hard hat on, Mindy looks way too sharply dressed to be in a construction zone like that. Then again, it’s Mindy, so anything goes.

Even more out of place is Morgan (Ike Barinholtz), who, in trying hard to make himself useful, is irritating Mindy so much that she’s pushed to hurl a stapler at him, catching him in the eye. Morgan falls and howls like a scalded bear. And that’s just the teaser.

Mindy discovers that heating up the world leaves very little room to light your own flame. She dashes into Danny’s (Chris Messina) kitchen, where he’s set up a sumptuous breakfast for her, picks up some bacon and walks out. Wait, did Mindy just walk by a full plate of different kinds of protein and pick up just a slice of bacon? I had to rewind that part about four times. Even Danny looked incredulous.

Even more unbelievable is the fact that Mindy, on a quest for celebrity presence at her clinic, shows up at a Kris Jenner book signing and accosts the lady. Apparently this is not Mindy’s first time, and she’s thrown out, but not before she flings her business card, pleading with Jenner to consider being one of her patients. “Your womb is a natural treasure! If you would just tweet about my clinic!” she yells as she’s carried out by security.

Mindy surprises us again with the advertisement banner she’s bought for the subway. After a little speech, she proceeds to “unveil” it to Danny, Jeremy (Ed Weeks), Tamra (Xosha Roquemore), Beverly (Beth Grant) and Morgan. Everyone stares up at the ad, which is blocked by another commuter’s really gigantic afro. When Mindy shoos him aside, there is a lovely picture of her with ice blue eyes. The overall effect is unnerving. How Mindy comes to own a pair of baby blue eyes is a mystery.

Her reason for this is typical Mindy – her eyes photograph blue. Like that’s a real reason. Danny summarises it perfectly, though. “You look like a werewolf,” he says, acerbically.

Jeremy announces at the staff meeting that Dr. Adrian Bergdahl (Dan Bakkedahl) is doing more work than all the other doctors combined. Mindy is quick to refute this and uses the opportunity to promote her clinic, which doesn’t have any patients yet. Danny suggests steering the Shulman & Associates patients who are having trouble conceiving to Mindy’s clinic. Then everyone gets an invite to the opening gala, which Mindy describes as having a ‘risqué red carpet’ dress code. Morgan emphasises this: “You come looking like crap, you’re gonna leave looking like crap, ‘cos I’m not gonna let you in.”

Aside from being a hard worker, Adrian is proving himself to be very, very grouchy. At lunchtime in the breakroom, Tamra, Beverly and Morgan present a charity, ostensibly to help what they say ‘affects us all’ – nurse obesity. Mindy immediately smells a rat: “What? You guys are skinny as hell!” To which Morgan immediately replies: “Yeah, due to poverty!”

Obviously, Adrian doesn’t really give a crap – he even says as much. He’s more focused on getting some food from the cabinet, detached and indifferent to what’s going on. Morgan takes exception to this in a huge way, and sets forth the hilarious B-story in this episode.

Morgan and Tamra complain to Jeremy about Adrian’s attitude but Jeremy is unmoved. Adrian is the hardest worker at their office and everyone will have to find a way to put up with him, despite Morgan pointing out that Adrian smells bad as well. Mindy is not in complete disagreement with the nurses and Jeremy says he’ll talk to Adrian.

The Lahiri Fertility Clinic’s first patient arrives – a lady so old that when she outlines her need, which, of course, is to have a baby, Mindy is convinced she’s being pranked. After having Morgan throw the lady out, Mindy is hit with a wave of desperation. So she does what desperate people do to get what they want. She pulls some pretty outlandish stunts in an effort to snag one of Danny’s patients. Her eventual failure teaches her that the clinic’s inexperience will be its greatest obstacle.

Later, standing next to Adrian in the locker room, poor Danny gets a hefty whiff of the body odour Morgan’s been complaining about. Danny frantically dives into his bag and just happens to have an extra deodorant – from the Al Pacino fragrance line, no less. Adrian’s problem must be serious if Scarface has to resolve it.

Adrian turns down the deodorant as he’s allergic to fragrances of any kind, and when Jeremy walks in to talk to him, he gets the same whiff Danny was subjected to earlier.

Adrian promises to talk with the nurses and promptly stomps off to do just that. Their “talk” turns out to be a screamfest, during which Adrian rips their nurse obesity poster to shreds. The nurses give Jeremy an ultimatum: fire Dr. Bergdahl or they leave.

Mindy, meanwhile, moans to Morgan about her lack of patients and he has a brilliant idea. Cousin Lou and his girlfriend are having a hard time getting pregnant. Mindy meets with them. Again, her lack of established reputation rears its head. So she lies. And it is a lie so heinous that even Morgan is appalled. Cousin Lou is happy to hear that Danny was sterile too, but Mindy was able to get pregnant due to her skill at fertilisation.

The nurses find out why Adrian is so grouchy all the time and smells so bad. He lives in his car. They’re instantly remorseful and try to hunt down Jeremy in the hope that he hasn’t fired Adrian yet. Jeremy tells them at Mindy’s opening gala that he did indeed get rid of him.

Mindy is pleasantly surprised at the gala’s turnout, until she realises that Morgan overdid it with some of the luxuries, and that most of people are there because they heard about Danny’s “problem” and wanted to show support.

Danny’s great congratulatory speech compels Cousin Lou to try to bond with him and, after a chat, Danny learns what Mindy has done.

Of course, everything goes downhill after that. Danny, indignant, quickly lets everyone know there is nothing wrong with his ability to procreate. Unsurprisingly, Cousin Lou takes his deal off the table. Mindy is back at square one.

The nurses hurry back to Adrian’s car to rescue him while he rests. Morgan is convinced that Adrian is not asleep but dead, so he does what only Morgan would do in a situation like that. He shatters one of the car’s windows and almost scares the poor man to death anyway.

Tamra tells Adrian they got Jeremy to rehire him, and offers to give him whatever money they’ve raised for obese nurses, which is all of $187. Adrian is touched and confides in them that he’s separated from his wife, and he’s worried that getting an actual place to stay will make his separation a reality. In the spirit of all this sharing, Morgan decides to spill some of his own dirt: “I’m pretty sure my grandmother is my mom.”

Adrian and Mindy strike a deal which allows Adrian to stay at her place if he’ll promote her fertility practice to his patients. Mindy is grateful and suggests over and over again that Adrian is very welcome to use her shower. He walks away, saying: “I get it. I get it. There’s a spycam in your shower. Don’t worry, I’ll put on a show.”

Mindy then has to go and make nice and apologise to Danny, who is still miffed at her spreading lies about his “guy”, which he declares is the best. Mindy, for her part, is quite disappointed in herself for speaking ‘ill of an organ that has brought so much happiness to me and other women… too many women’.

Danny, in turn, reveals he’s worried that he won’t see Mindy as much as he wants because of the new practice. Mindy, however, has a solution. She announces she’s ready to move in with Danny.

So all’s well that ends well. Adrian won’t stink any more, Mindy will be getting more patients to impregnate and, wonder of wonders, Danny’s convinced her to move in. Here’s hoping this move will completely dispel any ugly rumours about Danny’s awesome, baby-making, joy-delivering “guy”.

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