Review: Big Ass Spider! (2013)

Big Ass Spider is an almost entirely laugh free affair that misses the point of it's genre entirely, steer well clear.

Yet another entry in the ever burgeoning sub genre of low budget CGI creature movies, Big Ass Spider will hopefully prove to be one of the last.

The opening actually shows some promise, it’s an OK slow motion scene of mass destruction set to Where Is My Mind that is derivative but nonetheless entertaining. Unfortunately that is pretty much the only merit to be found for the entire running time. Unlike similar films there isn’t a ridiculous concept to hold onto for entertainment value, as terrible as Sharknado is, the core idea was silly enough to hold your attention. Giant spiders have been done before and a lot more effectively.

The acting is terrible throughout, Greg Grunberg  (Heroes) is clearly not even trying and whilst Ray Wise (Twin Peaks) has been raising money for new patio for a number of years with average roles, even he is above this rubbish. The supporting cast are predictably terrible but the director cast them from his Facebook friends list so what did he expect, if you can’t afford a cast then don’t make a film. It’s a struggle to believe that a terrible knock off with a shite CG spider could be anyone’s passion project so why even bother?

Whilst no one goes into a film with this title expecting a top notch story and script, it is reasonable enough to expect something passable. Unfortunately this isn’t the case here, the script tries to be funny, going for a horror comedy vibe but the calibre of the jokes leaves you angry more than anything else. ‘On the nose dialogue’ is used ALL the time. Maybe this was deliberate but once again this just serves to irritate. There really aren’t any redeeming features available here.

Hopefully the bubble will burst on this genre. At least when Roger Corman did it there was a sense that he actually cared about the film he was making and the man had some talent. Just because a film has no budget doesn’t mean it has to be badly made, with the recent glut of cheap CG B-movies there is no care taken over the final product at all. Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus proved it was briefly funny to make films this inept but that joke wore off some time ago. Avoid.

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