Review: Zonad (2009)

Zonad comes from outer space... or does he...?

Unlike 99% of other alien invasion movies, Zonad unfolds in the small Irish village of Ballymoran… but is everything as it seems? After a narrated intro and a quick introduction to the village we’re confronted with Zonad (Simon Delaney), a red latex-suited being who’s (apparently) out of this world. Appearing face down in the middle of the Cassidy’s living room surrounded by empty bottles and biscuit crumbs Zonad successfully hoodwinks the entire village into believing he is an alien scout rather than the escaped convict he really is.

Zonad soon gains celebrity status amongst the villagers and sets his sights on bedding the entire female population of Ballymoran. Sometimes worryingly paedophilic when surrounded by stereotypical school girls, Zonad enjoys the high life of being the talking point of the town but his dream is quashed when Bonad enters the scene.

Penned and directed by John and Kieran Carney, Zonad spoofs the traditional alien invader flick by far-from-subtly deriding the classic formula. The gullible village folk are unbelievably convinced by Zonad’s cover story. The simpletons that populate Ballymoran are all-too-willing to accept the story fed to them by the convict. Janice Byrne plays Jenny, a forward school girl frustrated with her sexphobe boyfriend Guy (Rory Keenan) who is mothered by his Snape-like butler and is driven to cross dressing to regain her affections.

Feeling more like a tv comedy than a feature length film, Zonad does have its humorous moments, a highlight being Zonad singing ‘Mysterious Girl’ – a self-penned song we hasten to add, not the Peter Andre ‘classic’. The poor effects add a nice spoofy touch to the film and, although not hilarious, help to mock U. S. sci fi flicks whilst the slo-mo fighting finale rounds the quirky film off nicely.

Zonad offers a harmless, if a little ridiculous, watch that will entertain most viewers.

Best bit: The slo-mo fight.
Best line: Either ‘get out, you’re boring’ or ‘it’s just like a penis only smaller’.
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