When it comes to scares, some films get it right and some films get it very, very wrong. Many horror movies rely on the terror that they can induce through whatever monster, alien or ghost they feature but sometimes the film industry comes up with the flimsiest, daftest and the least scary movie monsters that could be thought possible. Here we look at the top seven movies that got it wrong.
This article contains spoilers.
7. Mosquito Man in Mansquito (2005)
This foolish attempt at re-inventing the human/insect concept radiates nothing but failure. The film follows the endeavours of a group of scientists who try to refine a cure for a new, lethal disease that is being spread by a horde of mosquitos; they decide to carry out the experimentation on death row inmates – as you do. As expected the experiment goes horribly wrong and they end up with a transmuting murderous convict/insect man on the loose with an unsatisfying hunger for destruction and the sleazy aim of spreading his genes through unwitting, irritating female characters.
6. Murderous Elevator in Down (The Shaft) (2001)
This unnecessary remake of the original 1983 Dutch horror film is just as bad as it sounds, with poor acting and unsophisticated plot twists. This silly film revolves around a building in New York City where the elevators get a kick out of killing people. Ludicrously, after a bolt of lightning hits this building full of innocent lifts, they begin functioning strangely and obviously the first thing they do is go on a raging killing spree… scary.
5. Trucks in Maximum Overdrive (1986)
Maximum Overdrive is the reason why some novelists just shouldn’t direct. It’s a poorly acted, painful ride of a film and not just for the audience since the adversaries featured in this film are assorted vehicles commanded into existence by an alien comet passing by planet Earth. Mr. King should probably stick to storytelling rather than filmmaking…
4. The carnivorous bed in Death Bed: The Bed That Eats (1977)
Keeping the focus on the subject of inanimate objects that slay, filmmaker George Barry decided to create a horror film in which a bizarre rusty old mattress is the main antagonist. Brought to life by the spilled blood of a murder victim, the ancient, rotten bed now absorbs any ill-fated guests who happen to lay their unsuspecting heads on its pillow. An enchanted circle involving a humping session is the homicidal beds kryptonite…and you thought it couldn’t get any worse.
3. Lobster Monsters in Teenagers from Outer Space (1959)
In this 1959 poorly executed, low-budget science fiction flick an alien spaceship lands on earth to home and breed a creature called ‘Gargon’ which essentially… is a lobster. Despite the gargon’s murderous spree, it is discovered that the Achille’s heel of the lobster is melted butter. Yes, melted butter. It really can’t get any lamer than that. If they ever attacked, have a blowtorch and a tub of Anchor handy and you’re pretty much safe.
2. Possessed washing machine in The Mangler (1995)
A demonic washing machine in the property of a spooky laundrette owner wreaks havoc on its employees and any unknowing individuals who are unfortunate enough to cross paths with it. However… a homicidal laundry machine is hardly a frightening threat, it’s an inanimate object with no ability to manoeuvre itself successfully. The Mangler is nothing more than another Stephen King adaptation gone wrong. Just do your washing at home…
1. Meat-eating Condom in Killer Condom (1996)
A purposefully dreadful horror comedy set in the sleazy parts of New York City about a detective investigating bizarre happenings in the intentionally comically hotel named ‘Hotel Quickie’. It appears that a rogue, carnivorous condom is responsible for a series of gruesome attacks upon naive, sex crazed bachelors who now all have missing penises. Killer Condom shows how even safe sex can be extremely hazardous when toothy, flesh-eating condoms are at large!