Why Petitions Are The Most Stupidest Invention Ever

There's a petition against Ben Affleck, the 50 Shades of Grey casting, and GTA V ... and they're all stupid, says Jamie Press.

I just want to make this incredibly clear: Petitions are the most stupidest, most pointless things ever invented. Period!

It seems like not a second goes by when somebody seems to open a petition for whatever it is he/she doesn’t like or agree with. Whether it’s a local school, a local post box, a local estate, a new supermarket, deporting Justin Bieber, casting Ben Affleck, or demanding GTA V for PC. You can open a petition for absolutely anything.

But, to quote someone I know (wink, wink) I’m afraid I got some bad news for you: you’re wasting your time. Nobody listens to them. Not the council, not the game publishers, not the movie studios. Nobody.

Why? Because petitions don’t talk, money talks.

That’s all the companies care about. Money, money, money, and more money. They want your money, nothing else. They don’t care about your opinion or your pathetic little attempt at trying to stop or change something. They don’t listen to a piece of paper. But they do listen to your money.

Prime example: When Ben Affleck was cast as the new Batman, fans all over the world blasted the casting. So angry they were, they decided to open a petition to remove Affleck from the role.

Here’s the thing: How many of them 97,000 + people who signed that petition are going to watch Batman vs. Superman when it’s released? Damn near every single one of them.

They all cry about the choice but yet they STILL go and see the damn film. If you’re that upset about the casting of Affleck, or any other actor for any other film, then DON’T GO AND WATCH IT. How simple is that? I don’t like Jersey Shore, so I don’t watch it! If I don’t like it but watch it anyway, what does that make me? A hypocrite. Which is what 99% of them 97,000 people who signed that petition will be – hypocrites.

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Don’t like this man as the new Batman? Then don’t watch!

Do you honestly for one second believe that Warner Bros., the biggest movie studio in the world, will listen to a stupid petition? No! But, and I go back to my original point, they will listen to your money.

If you want to make a point to Warner Bros. that they have made a horrible decision casting Affleck, then don’t spend your money on a ticket. Don’t buy the merchandise, don’t allow that film to break a billion dollars in sales, don’t even let it break even. If those 97,000 people don’t spend a single dime, then, and only then, will Warner Bros. listen to you because they’re not getting your money!

The same applies to anything else. Don’t like a local supermarket opening? Don’t shop there. Don’t like an estate being built? Don’t go there. Don’t like Justin Bieber? Don’t listen to him. Don’t agree with GTA V for Xbox and PlayStation? Don’t buy it!

But these people don’t do that. Instead they’ll hear about something, not like it, run to their keyboards, jump online and whine and complain – and then go buy something from that new supermarket, go visit that estate, go listen to Justin Bieber, and go buy GTA V for Xbox and PlayStation.

Here’s another thing: When Affleck was cast, people said that he is a rubbish actor because of films like Daredevil, or whatever other film they didn’t like. Let me ask you this – I thought The Dark Knight Rises was a terrible, god-awful film. Does that make Christopher Nolan a bad filmmaker? Christian Bale a bad actor? No of course it doesn’t. Sometimes people make bad movies, but that doesn’t mean that they are unable to make any good film at all or makes them bad actors.

What I’ve found over the years is that fans seem to think they have authority over who is cast, or what a franchise should do.

Let me make this crystal clear to you as well: just because you are a die-hard fan of something, does not mean you have any say or authority over who is cast in any role or what a franchise does.

Another prime example: When it was announced that Charlie Hunnam and Dakota Johnson were cast as Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele in the Fifty Shades of Gray movie, fans, once again, blew up in a hissy fit. This was not who they wanted in the role. And right there is where the problem lies.

It wasn’t whom THEY wanted. It’s not about who YOU want in that role, it’s about who’s the best actor/actress for that role. Clearly the producers saw something in Johnson and Hunnam’s audition that made them the perfect fit for that role. The fans did not see their audition so they do not know whether they are right for the film or not.

Just because you read the book does not mean you know everything about this franchise.

99% of them people who complained about the casting were just upset that they didn’t get to see their sexual fantasies play out on the big screen. Women who wanted to see Matt Bomer as Christian just wanted him on screen so they could see him in sexual situations so they could see their fantasies come true. The same goes for men who wanted to see Emma Watson or Mila Kunis as Steele – they just wanted their fantasy to come true so they could then shut the door, lock it, and then watch the film “alone”.

The moron who opened the petition for Fifty Shades of Gray wrote in the description of his petition, which over 90,000 people have signed: “Matt Bomer is the perfect description of Christian Grey and Alexis Bledel is the perfect actress to represent Anastasia Steele and if they are not, nobody will be. And I read the whole trilogy and I can assure that Matt is the perfect actor for this movie and Alexis too.”

Excuse me for a second whilst I get my dictionary to look up the definition of an idiot … Huh … that’s interesting … it says here that that the definition of an idiot is … this guy.

But he’s not the only idiot who honestly believes this. He thinks that just because he read the books, that automatically means he KNOWS EVERYTHING about that franchise, about them characters, about who is the perfect person to play Steel and Grey.


The same goes for Batman fans, Superman fans, Twilight fans, Stephen King fans. Just because you are a passionate fan of a franchise, does not mean you know who is perfect for any role or what any franchise decides to do.

There is a reason you are called a “fan”, because you like something. That’s why you’re a fan. You’re not a casting agent, you’re not an executive producer, you’re not an actor, you’re not a writer, and you’re not a director. You’re a fan, nothing more, nothing less.

Now, you’re probably reading this and thinking, ‘so, I’m not allowed to have an opinion’. I know you’re thinking this because I’ve already had arguments with people about this very subject face-to-face. And once again, they don’t understand.

I’m not saying that you can’t have an opinion of something. What I’m saying is that when you start pushing your opinion as gospel and as FACT that is where you cross the line. Your opinion is just your opinion. That idiot that called for Bomer and Bledel for the Fifty Shades movie pushed his opinion as the correct one, as gospel, as fact. That is why he is an idiot.

Ben Affleck wouldn’t have been my first choice as Batman either, not because he isn’t a good actor because he is. There isn’t really any reason why he would not be my first pick but I just know I can list five other actors who I think could be great in that role. But I’m not sat here spewing off bull*** about him or the casting choice. Instead I’ll go see the film and if he’s not good in it then I will say so. I will say that IN MY OPINION, he was not good.

If everyone else would just adhere to this then we would all get along much better.

Those who claimed “victory” when GTA V was announced for PC are idiots.

This whole article has been burning inside me for a long time but I only decided to write it recently because of something that I recently reported on for the Roobla website.

A fan who opened a petition for a GTA V edition of PC recently claimed that he and his other 725,000 + signees where “victorious” because Rockstar finally announced an edition for Xbox One, PlayStation 4 and PC.

Again: how many of those 725,000 people bought that game? Probably 99% of them because just like every other fan boy around they get upset about something but they still spend their money on it.

That fan that opened the petition was not “victorious” nor was the other 725,000 people who signed it.

What they didn’t realize was that Rockstar probably had a PC edition planned since day freaking 1. But the impatient PC gamers refused to wait despite the fact that they waited for LA Noire on PC, Max Payne 3 on PC and GTA IV on PC. Do you honestly believe that Rockstar wouldn’t put a PC edition of their biggest franchise out? Answer that honestly.

So to sum up: Stop creating petitions. You’re wasting your time … and taking years off my age.

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