Top 10 Worst Movie Deaths
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Forget a simple gunshot to the head, we take a look at some of the worst ways to meet your maker as provided to us by Hollywood… beware, it all gets a little grizzly from here on in…
10. Death by Blood Poisoning – The Human Centipede
Not only have you had to endure the process of your mouth being stitched, yes, physically stitched, to another person’s anus, you have to deal with everything that this entails. Although not the most elaborate cause of death, the fact that such blood poisoning is probably a direct result of a mad scientist’s attempts to create a human centipede means the death is worthy of a mention here.
Yuk rating: 10/10
Ouch factor: 6/10
9. Death by Impalement – Creep (2004)
One that made us shudder, Creep’s impalement scene is not for the faint-hearted. After being mercilessly chased by the titular creep for most of the film, the characters seem to gain the upper hand and finally attack him. Moments later the high spirits are lost when the attacker, George, is impaled in the head by a blade handily sticking out of a wall. Ouuuuch.
Yuk rating: 6/10
Ouch factor: 9/10
See also: Final Destination 2, when one of the survivor’s eyes is impaled by a ladder. Book of Eli’s arrow-through-the-crotch has also got to be a nasty way to go.
8. Death by Melting – Terminator 2
Yes, he may be a big Mr. Universe-sized robot, but death by molten steel is enough to make anyone shiver. Heroically sticking his thumb up as he goes, Arnie’s Terminator at least gets away relatively unscathed in comparison to other characters in the film, with some being given a headache-worthy jab in the brain by the T-1000’s morphed sword-like arm. We say unscathed, but there’s literally nothing left of him by the end of the film, poor chap.
Yuk rating: 3/10
Ouch factor: 8/10
See also: Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark, where a Nazi melts.
7. Death by Teleportation – The Fly
Poor Jeff Goldblum. Hours after meeting the lovely Geena Davis he tries to show off with his scientific experiments… only for them to go horribly wrong. When a fly travels with him in his brand new teleportation device his body begins to undergo horrific changes leaving him more insect than man before he dies a spluttery death.
Yuk rating: 8/10
Ouch factor: 5/10
6. Death by Kevin Spacey – Se7en
Decapitation is never the nicest way to go but, for Brad Pitt’s wife Gwyneth Paltrow, it’s made even worse. After killing people in line with the Bible’s seven deadly sins (leading to deaths that are all worthy of a mention here), Kevin Spacey has the last laugh in the thriller, having her head posted to the detectives whilst they stand with him in the middle of the field, made even more chilling when we don’t actually see the head itself. What a charmer.
Yuk rating: 5/10
Ouch factor: 6/10
See also: Carl’s window decapitation in Ghost. Though nothing to do with Spacey, it was pretty horrific.
5. Death by Mars – Total Recall (1990)
We watch, in horror, as Arnie falls victim to the Mars climate and his eyes pop out of face. Luckily it’s all a dream, phew! Unfortunately for Ronny Cox he’s less fortunate and is sucked out into the inhospitable landscape and we watch as he pops and bursts in in the Mars atmosphere. Kudos to the special effects team for haunting our childhood.
Yuk rating: 8/10
Ouch factor: 7/10
4. Death by Trap Explosion / Jigsaw – Saw III
Saw, along with its innumerable offspring, has provided us with many a gore-filled death. Acid, fire, sharp objects – all have bought at least one character to their end. We’ve watched as people have had their limbs slowly twisted off, climbed into furnaces in hope for escape… and we’ve watch most of them die. This entry faces the unenviable task of representing them all. After waking up to find herself in one of Jigsaw’s deadly contraptions, Detective Allison Kerry must root around in a jar of acid to get the key that will release her from her trap. Needless to say, she’s unsuccessful and the trap pulls itself apart, her ribcage in tow.
Yuk rating: 8/10
Ouch factor: 10/10
3. Death by Alien Excretion – Dreamcatcher
Adapted from Stephen King’s short story, Dreamcatcher tells the story of four friends who go to a cabin in the middle of nowhere (already a bad sign) to catch up and enjoy old times. All’s fine and dandy until a stranger appears and shits out an alien in their toilet before promptly dying. The merriment swiftly ends, being replaced with strange sequences and their reunion with Mark Wahlberg’s Duddits.
Yuk rating: 8/10
Ouch factor: 9/10
2. Death by T-Rex… Whilst on the Toilet – Jurassic Park
Ah, Jurassic Park. Who wouldn’t want to visit a theme park where great prehistoric beasts roam the earth once again? Us, for one. With a very low survival rate, visitors face the prospect of being chased, gnawed or nibbled to death. The worst of all, beating Dieter Stark’s Compy death, is poor Donald Gennaro. After making a run for it when the T Rex makes an appearance he’s caught, quite literally, with his trousers down by the terrifying monster when it finds him in the nearest toilet.
Yuk rating: 6/10
Ouch factor: 9/10… and a full-on 10 for embarrassment rating.
1. Death by Alien Bursting Out of Chest – Alien
In one of the most memorable scenes of cinema, Kane is killed after a baby alien bursts out of his chest. He was never going to last long after that kind of injury, but seeing his murderer scuttle across the dining table is enough to put anyone off their food.
Yuk rating: 7/10
Ouch factor: 9/10
Other nasty ways to go include… Death by giant penis (Various characters in Someone’s Knocking at the Door), Death by erosion (Professor X in X-Men: The Last Stand, Professor Quirrell in Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone), Death by stampede (Mufasa in The Lion King), Death by curb (Victim in American History X).
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