Michael Bay's Next Top Secret Project!
A Roobla exclusive! We’ve got the inside track on a new Michael Bay blockbuster and it’s from his meeting between himself and a studio executive!
Studio Exec: “Michael, please take a seat. Congratulations on producing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.”
Michael Bay: “Thanks chief. It was hella fun. I’m making that cool again too, hella.”
Studio Exec: “Fantastic. So what have you got for us next? Something original and ground breaking? It’s what the audiences want.”
Michael Bay: “What? That’s a load of bullsh*t, they want retro, they want revamps, they want to see their childhood heroes on the big screen with explosions and hot chicks in them.”
Studio Exec: “Well I know that, you know that, they don’t know that. I’m desperate to know what your next idea is.”
Michael Bay: “Are you ready for this?”
Studio Exec: “Yes.”
Michael Bay: “I got to say when I came up with this idea I had a boner for like three days straight. I almost passed out.”
Studio Exec: “Please, the suspense is killing me.”
Michael Bay: “How about this… pausing for suspense baby… A live action version of… another pause… Hey Arnold!”
Studio Exec: “The cartoon about that weird kid with the funny shaped head?”
Michael Bay: “Yes!”
Studio Exec: “How will you make that happen?”
Michael Bay: “Bitch, please. I made the Turtles come alive, I’ll just CGI that shiz.”
Studio Exec: “Okay I don’t know if it will work but what else?”
Michael Bay: “Well Arnold will have to fight a group of terrorists whilst also dealing with school and the fact there is no explanation as to why he is living with his grandparents and his creepy ass neighbour who you never see.”
Studio Exec: “But isn’t the love interest in this supposed to be a dog ugly mono browed bitch?”
Michael Bay: “In the original it is but in my version she is a hot ass young woman who everyone wants.”
Studio Exec: “Who have you got in mind to play this?”
Michael Bay: “Megan Fox.”
Studio Exec: “Here’s 600 million. Make it happen.”
Michael Bay: “Hella cool.”
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