Chances are you’ll be Christmas shopping for a football fan this month. Stuck for ideas? Well, while we may not be able to help you there, we can at least show you some of the worst footy gifts we’ve seen for you to avoid.

Stoke City belly button stud
stoke-city-belly-button-stud
Pierce the myth that Stoke only play route one and replace it with the shattering realisation to all your friends and family that you have no taste. It almost makes this gift multipurpose. Perhaps Potters fans would just be happy with three points.

Manchester United hair straighteners
united_hair_staightenr
While reports of Marouane Fellaini buying lorry loads of these and delivering them to Wayne Ronney’s house are yet to be confirmed, this offering looks set to be remembered similarly to the Belgian international: overpriced and underused.

Swansea City ladies’ perfume
swansea-ciy-perfume
The smell of Swansea City is unlikely to be high on a woman’s fragrance list. Unless they want the smell of probable relegation and boardroom incompetence on them wherever they go. Chanel and Gucci are said to be quaking in their boots.

Tottenham Hotspur garter
spurs-garter
Getting married soon? Support Spurs? Want to combine the two? Well don’t, because you’re a moron. Although, if you ignore our advice and purchase this for your bride-to-be , throw in a joke about keeping a clean sheet on your wedding night and send the awkwardness levels off the chart.

Hull City Christmas jumper
hull-city-christmas-jumper
Yes, festive knitwear is meant to be unashamedly awful, but even the biggest Hull fan is likely to find this about as appealing as a Brussels sprout flavoured Quality Street. Hardly surprising considering this has a colour pallet similar to David Dickinson’s fake tan mixed with the contents of a festival toilet.

Have you spotted any terrible football presents? Let us know below.

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