Top 10 Characters to Help You Survive a Horror Movie
You know the situation; you wake up one day and the world’s gone to pot with infected zombie undead flesh-eaters. Or you take a little friendly trip to a planet far, far away and what do you know, you are greeted by some human-hungry space creatures. Or worse still, you just want a nice wild, drunken night at a friend’s house party but all you get is some revenge-seeking madman out for (particularly horny) blood.
Fret not, some of film’s most heroic heroes and heroines will see you safely through these grim times. But who are they? We take a look at the top 10 characters to help you survive a horror movie…
10. Shaun (Simon Pegg) as seen in Shaun of the Dead
Quintessentially British Shaun will use all forms of English items to help rid of any zombie infestation. He may have the odd breakdown now and again, but you can guarantee he’ll stay with you until the end… as long as you also stay for a pint.
Speciality weapon: Cricket bat / vinyl records.
Avoid if… You like going to the pub. His local has resulted in many gut-wrenching deaths.
9. Sarah (Shauna MacDonald) as seen in The Descent & The Descent part II
Although not an obvious choice, Sarah is one loyal friend which is what you need most in these types of situations. Not too shabby swinging a climbing axe either, and best of all she will gain revenge on your death, accidental or not.
Speciality weapon: Ice climbing axe.
Avoid if… Seeking shelter underground. The darkness may not be the best idea for a mentally unstable scorned woman.
8. Seth Gecko (George Clooney) as seen in From Dusk Till Dawn
Seth will take you under his wing if you’re a sadistic killer or the other end of the spectrum, a priest. But it’s his ingenuity in making water pistols deadly against vampires that really makes you glad he’s around.
Speciality weapon: Stake-holding jack hammer.
Avoid if… Part of a religious family going through faith issues. The group dynamics will never be the same again.
7. Dutch (Arnold Schwarzenegger) as seen in Predator
There’s no doubt that any one would feel safer with a big guy rippling with muscles next to them. Add being a commander of a highly-trained Special Forces unit to this and you’re guaranteed to get to safety – even more so if it’s to a chopper.
Speciality weapon: M16 machine gun.
Avoid if… You aint got time to bleed. Because you will. From a big hole in the chest.
6. MacReady (Kurt Russell) as seen in John Carpenter’s The Thing
The loose cannon on the list, MacReady is somebody you might not believe is who he says he is. But one thing is for sure, he will suss out anyone not human – even if it’s by means of some dubious interrogation tactics.
Speciality weapon: Flame thrower.
Avoid if… You have a tendency to reach for a gun when told not to. A bullet to the head is what you’d get for your troubles.
5. Zeke (Josh Hartnett) as seen in The Faculty
Closet-chemistry boffin Zeke likes to think he’s a moody loner, but deep down he doesn’t discriminate in who he helps; you can be the jock, the nerd, the bitch, the goth – even an alien disguised as the virgin.
Speciality weapon: Skat-containing school pens.
Avoid if… You’re a teacher. You’ll end up losing something, be it an eye or even your head.
4. Sidney Prescott (Neve Campbell) as seen in the Scream series
Speciality weapon: Household objects.
Avoid if… You want to be her boyfriend – they end up either 1) a killer 2) killed and 3) almost killed then vanish mysteriously. Or a busty blonde teen.
3. Ash (Bruce Campbell) as seen in the Evil Dead series
Ash may come across as incompetent at everything, even cowardly, but this everyman will soon come good because what he does best is better than anyone else: fighting the Evil Dead.
Speciality weapon: S-Mart shotgun / Chainsaw hand.
Avoid if… Planning on being his love interest. Death a likelihood, possession a certainty.
2. Selena (Naomie Harris) as seen in 28 Days Later
If Selena can stay alive in London, you would do well to have her on your side – that’s even before any zombie virus has been released. She’s got no room for sentiment though, and will slice you up in a heartbeat. Well, unless you’re Cillian Murphy.
Speciality weapon: Huge machete.
Avoid if… You’re sex-starved soldiers. Deep eye-gouging inevitable.
1. Ripley (Sigourney Weaver) as seen in the Alien series
The ultimate bad-ass queen, Ripley’s gun-toting fortitude has ensured her survival against an alien, many aliens, being ingested with an alien, a vat of hot molten lead, resurrection and one Carter J Burke. Who else would you want by your side after such events?
Speciality weapon: Flamethrower and pulse rifle strapped together.
Avoid if… You are a corporate slime ball.
The Worst? David Drayton (Thomas Jane) as seen in The Mist
Where to start with this inept decision-making lead? From trying to stop a mother getting to her children, to gathering medical supplies in a suicide mission; when all else is lost, David Drayton then decides to flee a sinking ship (burning supermarket). If you do finally survive all sorts of monsters, don’t take him up on his offer in assisted suicide.