film

Let’s face it. It should really have been called Mega Shoddy vs. Craposaurus but that’s half of the film’s appeal. Already riding on the cult status achieved by Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, the creators of this instalment don’t wander too far from the formula that has already proved so popular. The dodgy effects remain (as does the dodgy acting) which will no doubt ensure the film’s cult success.

The loose storyline involves the reappearance of Mega Shark – it’s soon discovered that the shark is far from dead and that it has instead managed to spawn hundreds of evil smaller sharks. Enter a really, really big croc and things go from bad to worse. We lost the plot a little amidst the hammy acting and super dodgy effects but the gist we gathered was exactly what the title promises – an epic(ish) battle between two over-sized monsters.

You can almost hear the script writers tapping away at the clunky dialogue that litters the film and, whilst we weren’t expecting Oscar-worthy moments at every turn, the loose explanations leave a fair bit to be desired. Gary Stretch, an ex-boxer fast becoming a staple for these badly made cinema pieces (see the forgettable The King Maker) punches above his weight here as the leery money hungry stereotype. The woman who suffers the brunt of most of his jibes feigns authority but her barked orders just reaffirm the poor quality of the film. We were a little disappointed to find the holographic doctor from TV series Voyager appear amidst the proceedings.

Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus‘s main draw will come from its appalling effects. The CGI is TV quality at best, with clips sometimes repeated. When the story-lines eventually merge the battle is on but we’re left wondering… is it just us or does nobody else notice the incredible flying abilities of the shark? And its abilities to just spit torpedoes out?! Of course it’s all tongue-in-cheek (we hope) but the shoddy dramatic music mixed with the acting sometimes makes the film a cringesome affair.

Is it so bad it’s good? We’re not too sure.

 

Best line: ‘Get off my ship you son of a bitch’.

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